Uh-Oh
by CaptainKrueger
Summary: Robin, unable to go through with her wedding that's only a month away, comes to Ted in a panic, and the two end up crossing a line Ted thought they would never cross again, leaving him to anguish over what he's done and deal with the consequences. Ted-centric. BxR fans should beware.
1. Chapter 1

A few years ago, if Ted Mosby had woken up and found Robin Scherbatsky sleeping next to him and wearing the t-shirt he had been wearing when she came to his apartment the previous night, he would have felt like the luckiest man in the world. What made things different, however, was this inconvenient little thing called an engagement, which was this tiresome little bind that Robin was still in. If Robin weren't engaged and if Ted still had any hope for a future with her, he would have gratefully taken in what could have otherwise been a beautiful moment.

Robin had her head and her hand resting on Ted as she slept soundly, the very hand that was supposed to have her engagement ring on display. However, the ring had been off her finger ever since Robin had shown up at Ted's door panicking and crying the night before, vehemently insisting that she could not go through with her marriage to Barney. Ted, trying to comfort her, hugging her and stroking her hair, had whispered and made soothing sounds, telling her that it was only cold feet that she was feeling, she had nothing to worry about. Robin, shaking her head and sounding almost incomprehensible, had shrilled that she had had enough time to think about it, and now, a month away from her wedding, she just couldn't do it. She just couldn't do it, goddammit, she couldn't go ahead and make the biggest mistake of her life.

Her hands had gone to his face, and Robin, starting to calm down, repeated to Ted that she couldn't do it, and that she had made _other_ stupid mistakes recently in the past year and needed to make them right. While they stood there looking at each other, and as Ted could only wonder what it was she was talking about, that was when he realized that he did not feel a ring on her left hand. Ted grabbed her hands and looked Robin in the eye, asking her where her ring was. Robin, looking off to the side, lower lip trembling, shaking her head, had said that she, after she had gone up for a smoke, had thrown it off the World Wide News building, from the very same spot where Barney had proposed to her.

And that was when things started going wrong. Robin's hands had found a way back to Ted's face, and she had said breathlessly that she was so sorry for passing him over all these years. She hadn't given him time to respond before she kissed him roughly. That was when rationality and inhibitions were tossed aside like Robin's coat and Ted's hoodie. Ted couldn't even begin to think about what they were doing and its consequences as they kissed along the way to his bedroom. They passed the point of no return the second Robin's back hit his bed, and Ted would not consider that until he woke up the next morning.

Ted had betrayed Barney with what he had done, he realized this all too well as he lay in his bed, listening to Robin's quiet breathing. Barney may have been a dog, a cad, a shameless womanizer back in the day, but he had never stooped this low. Barney, even if he had said indecent things about Ted's past relationships, had never bedded any of Ted's romances while they were still going on. Ted knew he had no excuse. Robin may not have felt engaged anymore, but she had not broken it off with Barney, and even if she had, it still would not have justified what they had done.

So Ted, being as careful as he could, slipped Robin's head onto a pillow and moved as silently as a cat out of his room, quietly closing the door so he would not wake her up. Ted, now that he was in his living room, was free to pace and quietly yell at himself as he pleased. "Dammit, Ted, dammit, Ted, dammit, Ted, dammit, Ted, _what _are you doing?" he berated himself, pacing a hole into the floor.

Robin was in his bed, but he was not allowed to enjoy that knowledge; he was not allowed to crawl back into bed and hold her and fall back asleep. Ted was not allowed to be happy with Robin. Had the universe not shown him that time and time again? He was not allowed to have her, to hold her, to love and be loved by her. It just would not do. Just when he thought he had accepted that they would never have anything, this goes and happens.

Okay, Ted realized, maybe he hadn't accepted what was the reality of his situation with Robin. Maybe he wanted to believe Marshall when his friend said maybe he still had a chance. But Ted knew how these things went, and he knew that you did _not _sleep with your friend's bride-to-be; he also knew that the only reason why Robin could have come running back to him, after all these years, after she had told him that she did not love him, was because of his pathetic availability, because she knew he was nothing more than a slobbering dog waiting on his hind legs for a juicy steak.

There was no way that Robin could have come to him in the night because of buried deep feelings resurfacing. Ted could not allow himself to consider that, for if he did and Robin woke up regretting the previous night, he would not be able to deal with that type of pain. Ted had been disappointed too many times when it came to dating, and he was tired of chasing after the wrong women. "But last night didn't help you out," Ted, arms crossed, staring at the ground, whispered to himself.

There he was, leaning against the couch in nothing but gray sweatpants and socks, and the woman who had rejected him more than she had accepted his advances, the woman who was clearly going through a personal crisis and so was in a precarious emotional state was still asleep in his bed. There Ted was, feeling unbearable guilt and also feeling tired of his complicated love life. He had done something unforgivable, and he would lose a friend if anyone else found out, all because he had turned his brain off when Robin had kissed him.

When Ted looked up again, he saw Robin, wearing his bright yellow t-shirt that she had said made him look like a large banana, staring at him as she entered the living room. She did not look remorseful or happy, and that displeased Ted because he wished he could read her so he could know what to say. But since Robin only seemed to be studying him like he was studying her, Ted swallowed and said softly, "Uh-oh."


	2. Chapter 2

"I-I—we—we...you and I.. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, _God_. Oh, God, _Robin_, you and I—"

"I know, Ted," Robin, ever so calmly, said as she walked up to him. "I know what we did."

Robin, looking at the floor as she gently placed her hands on his bare chest before looking back into his eyes, added softly, "And...maybe...maybe it isn't such a bad thing."

Ted, subdued for the moment, blinked and stared at Robin. There she was, in Ted's bright yellow t-shirt, with her hands on his chest, looking earnestly into his eyes as she waited for his reply. And Ted, with all that he had, wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her when she said that it was okay, what they had done. He wanted to believe her and hold her and kiss her and tell her he never wanted her to leave again, that he wanted her to stay with him, but oh, God, he also wanted the opposite.

He wanted to erase what had happened because he had betrayed his friend, because he knew there was no way in hell that Robin could actually want something with him, that—despite what was coming out of her mouth—the previous night meant anything to her. It couldn't mean anything to either of them; Ted could not allow himself to get swept up in what was going on. He could not take Robin into his arms and kiss her like he wanted to so dearly, could not lie back down with her and waste away the day talking, could not laugh with her as he made them pancakes for breakfast. He could not allow himself to feel something for this woman again, for she was not his and never truly was.

What scared Ted most was that he knew that he still felt something for Robin. Why else would he have betrayed Barney? Why else would he be fantasizing of all the things they could be doing at that moment instead of wasting time? Even if he was still hung up on Robin, it did not mean that he had to get carried away with what was happening; it did not mean that what they had done was right.

"Yes, Robin, it is a bad thing," he told her calmly, grabbing her hands and gently taking them away from his chest. Ted, gazing at Robin, sighed and stepped away. He looked down and found the hoodie he had been wearing the previous night, which only added to his shame and guilt. To think he had shed it so quickly in the excitement. Ted picked up the hoodie and put it on, pulling the zipper up so his bare torso was covered. He then looked at her soberly and, as much as it pained him to say so, said, "What you and I did should have never happened. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through—I never had to face the dilemma of cold feet, but whatever it is you're feeling, I am not the solution. I'm sorry that you're reconsidering your life with Barney, but why me, Robin? Why come to me after the monumental mess that is our history?"

"Why not, Ted?" Robin asked, throwing her arms out helplessly. "What if I've been rethinking all my past actions? What if I've been reconsidering how I feel about things? What if this is years overdue, and we've only been messing around this whole time?"

Ted blinked and gaped at Robin, trying his best not to scoff bitterly. "Uh, how about the countless times that you've shot me down? How you could never commit to me before, but could to the boyfriends that came _after_ me? How, after I told you I still loved you, you told me you didn't love me back? How you've been so hung up on Barney all these years? How you, until recently, were set on marrying him? Oh, God, Barney!" Ted shouted, turning on his heel to pace. "What will he think when he finds out!"

"No, Ted, Barney can never find out!" Robin, running up to Ted and grabbing onto his shoulders, insisted. "I'll talk to him and call things off, but he can't know about this!"

Ted turned and stared at Robin, and he asked wretchedly, "How can he _not _know, Robin? But then again, how _can_ he know? Oh, God, I don't know what to do anymore!"

Ted could see Lily, with flared nostrils and a death glare in her eyes, hissing her infamous, "Youuu son of a bitch!" Ted could see people taking sides. Ted could see Barney becoming either infuriated or heartbroken, most likely both. Ted could see anger, disappointment, suffering. How could anyone else know? Then again, how could they not know? How could Ted live with himself knowing what he had done?

Ted swallowed and looked at Robin. "So suppose Barney doesn't learn of what happened? What then, Robin? Do you and I go back to the way things used to be? Just friends and nothing more? Or do we pick up where we left off? Where do we go from here? Pretend last night never happened, or acknowledge it happened, and carry on from there? Tell me what's going to happen, Robin."

Robin gaped at Ted, staring at him and remaining silent.

"What happens _now_, Robin?"

"Well, Ted..."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: A giant thank you to those who reviewed. It means so much to me that you would take the time to review my little fic. You're beautiful. :) And a happy new year to anyone reading!

_Robin looked as confused and overwhelmed as Ted felt. She exhaled and roughly, impatiently wiped away a rogue tear that had the audacity to break away and roll down her cheek. It softened Ted's heart to see her do so. He knew that he had no idea what Robin was going through; he wasn't the only one suffering through a crisis. _

_Robin inhaled shakily and said, "What do you think, Ted? You—you sure seem eager to forget last night. How can anything I say matter when you seem to already have your mind set?"_

_Ted felt the last shreds of anger he had been holding onto melt, and he had to keep his feet rooted to where he stood. If he did not stand firm, he knew that he would close the small distance between them and never let her go, and he could not afford to make any more mistakes. He exhaled and said, "Robin, I'm only trying to do what's best. I am like officially the worst friend ever because of what I've done. I broke the Code, Robin, I broke the Bro Code!"_

_Robin sighed and said, "Don't act like you're entirely to blame, Ted. I pretty much jumped you last night. And, okay, no matter which way you dress it up, you and I did something...morally questionable, but you know what? I'll talk to Barney...t-tell him the wedding's off... Oh, God, Barney..."_

_"Sh'yeah!" Ted exclaimed in agreement. "You and I have made an unchangeable mistake, and I honestly don't know what to do."_

_Robin, sighing, looking at Ted with dull, defeated eyes, said, "No, Ted I made an unchangeable mistake the moment I threw Barney's ring off that building. I'm the one who acted rashly by coming to you first instead of talking to Barney like a grownup."_

_"And by coming to me for _that_ kind of comfort," Ted added. _

_Robin gazed at Ted wearily. "Ted, despite what you may think, despite the pain that's happened and is going to happen, I... Forget it." She sighed in frustration and turned away from him; she grabbed her purse from off the couch and dug around in it, tiredly saying through an exhale, "Oh, I can only hope Barney didn't try to call me."_

_Ted watched as Robin took out her phone to check for messages and thanked his lucky stars—as rare as they were—that Barney and Robin lived in separate apartments. _

_Robin muttered a few things under her breath before dropping her phone into her purse and looking back up at Ted. "I'm gonna—I'm gonna change and get out of here. I'm gonna talk to Barney, and you can... You can think about what you're gonna do about all this. Just... Just promise me you'll think about what I've said, okay?"_

_"Okay, Robin. Okay."_

Ted, alone at MacLaren's, sat in his group's booth as he absentmindedly played with a coaster while he played the morning's events in his head for the five hundredth time.

_What to do...?_

_You're a despicable human being._

_Traitor._

_Idiot._

_Jackass._

_You _know _Robin's confused. You _know_ she really doesn't want something with you._

Ted's internal diatribe stopped when Barney, looking like he had been punched in the gut, spat at, and kicked between his legs, staggered to the bar to order a scotch. Ted's pulse quickened and he slapped his palms onto the table as he stared at his friend. Oh, God, how much did he know? How much did Robin tell him?

"Heeey, buddy," Ted said cautiously as Barney, looking lost, slid into the seat opposite of Ted. "How's it going?"

Choking back a sob, Barney looked up at Ted and said sorrowfully, "Robin dumped me, Ted! The wedding is _off._"

Ted pretended to be shocked. "Noooo!" he drawled, hoping he didn't sound too fake, or at least that Barney was too distracted to notice. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Barney cried disconsolately, gripping onto his glass. "She—she just said she couldn't marry me, and... You know what she did to the ring, Ted? She threw it away, Ted, that's what! She threw it off the World Wide News building! And to make matters worse, she was standing in the spot where I...where I... Oh, God!"

Ted, his words layered with more than one meaning, said, "Barney, I am so sorry for what's happened." He did not have to act to apologize to his friend.

Barney, looking down at his drink, inhaled shakily. "Thanks, Ted," he said. And then came the knife to the chest, "You're such a good friend, man."

Ted, trying to keep his composure, swallowed and said, "I've been there, Barney, the woman I loved deciding she didn't want to marry me. You know what, Barney? Love? It sucks. It sucks a big one. We all run around like morons looking for it, make asses of ourselves in the name of it, and for what? Most of us are gonna end up hurt." Ted, in an attempt to get their minds off of things, added, "But you know what? We only have one life to live, so shucks, why not have fun doing so? What say you we hit a few clubs?"

"Aw, I dunno, Ted."

"I have a hundred right here. How about we split it and break it up into singles?"

Barney, appearing conflicted, eyed the money Ted was holding up enticingly. "Know what? Sounds good, Ted."

Ted forced a grin as he and Barney left their drinks behind. He threw his arm around Barney's shoulders in a side hug and promised his friend with false cheer, "You're not gonna regret this, Barney. This night, it's gonna be legen—wait for it—dary! Legendary!"

"Hey. Hey, Ted?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Don't ever do that again. It's my thing, and, well, you just can't pull it off. Sorry, buddy."

"Okay, Barney. Okay."

AN: Hm, Barney and Ted are going out and are more than likely to drink. (Okay, of course they're going to drink.) That can't end well, can it?


	4. Chapter 4

Ted's mistake had been to drink with Barney. Oh, Ted didn't just drink, he drank to the point of almost needing subtitles, as Marshall would put it. Barney had a drink or two, but his heart was not in partying, whereas Ted had gone all out in his attempts to forget the guilt, to forget the image of Robin lying peacefully in his bed, to forget his thoughts of Robin waking up and smiling at him and the two of them cooing a "Good morning" to each other. Upon later reflection, Ted realized that he had acted as if _he_ had been dumped a month away from his wedding, and not Barney.

They had hit a strip club or two, had gone to a few clubs, and had galumphed along the nighttime streets of New York City during the night while Ted tried to cheer Barney and himself up. Or rather, Ted had stomped along the streets, laughing and singing "Mr. Brightside" at the top of his lungs, while Barney had an arm around him to support him.

Barney, after half dragging, half carrying Ted for a few blocks, had decided that Ted had had enough, and that he needed to get to bed. Barney had called for a taxi and got in with him to make sure he got home without being mugged. Ted slumped on the seat, eyes closed, mouth hanging open wide enough for a sparrow to use for a nest, and he let out a noise that was somewhere between a moan and an idiotic laugh.

Ted's head dropped onto Barney's shoulder and he slurred, "You're a good friend, Barney. You're such a good bro... Bro, bro, bro... We're bros... Bros..."

"Damn, Ted, you are more hammered than one of Gallagher's melons," Barney, awestruck, said. "What happened to you to make you cut loose?"

Ted looked up at his friend and cackled. Blinking a few times, Ted affectionately patted Barney's chest and giggled, "You wanna know what happened, Mr. Banker Dude? I did the horizontal hokey pokey with my best friend's lady friend, and I feel _real, real_ bad about it... But shhhhh... Don't tell my friend Barney! He can't never know 'bout what went down! He'd kill me..."

A murderous glint flashed in Barney's eyes, but Barney, unlike Ted, was a little more in control of himself than Ted was, so he had asked the cab driver to pull over to let him out. It left Ted alone in the back of the cab as the driver sped away, leaving Barney on the corner of the street, ominously glaring a hole into the back of the cab. Ted would get in the morning, Barney vowed.

Ted, unaware of what he had just said, especially unaware of who had heard, waved his fingers like a conductor of an orchestra, muttering "Mr. Brightside" under his breath drunkenly while the driver made his way to his apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

Ted woke up holding onto an inflatable dolphin and wearing a scarf that was not his. Ted, his head pounding, moaned as he sat up in his bed, trying to search his brain for any semblance of a memory of the previous night. Robin. Barney. MacLaren's. Singles. Strippers. Bad music. Alcohol. Mere fragments, but nothing concrete that Ted could latch onto. And his head hurt. God, his head hurt.

Ted, puzzled, looked down at the pool toy and saw a sticky note attached to the dolphin's dorsal fin. "Ted," he read aloud, "call me when you're sober. Robin."

Exhaling and rubbing the night out of his eyes, Ted leaned over and grabbed the house phone and slowly dialed Robin's number, feeling more than slightly reluctant to call and talk to her. The last time he had been this drunk, he had done some pretty stupid things, including calling her several times. Oh, he hoped he had not drunk dialed her.

So Ted called her, and he found out that he had not gone straight home. The cab driver had taken him to his apartment building, but Ted had walked off and gotten himself into more drunken madness. "After calling me, like, ten times, you showed up with Flipper and a bottle of Captain Morgan," Robin told him.

"Oh, God, I called you?" Ted asked.

"Yeah," Robin replied curtly. "I stopped answering your calls after about the third one. But I still have plenty more messages from you, Teddy Boy."

"Aw, geez."

"I know. And I will play you those messages later on when we can talk in private."

"Man, I'm sorry." Ted apologized. "Wait, I showed up at your place?"

"Yeah, you came up to me slurring about your new best friend Flipper. I don't even know how you got a hold of him."

Ted slowly looked over at the toy that he had shoved in the corner. "I don't know, but he's covered in lipstick and smells like urine."

"I know," Robin said disgustedly. "Well, I had to take you home, Ted. I got you into bed, but you were getting pretty handsy with me and asking me to stay, so I gave you the dolphin instead, and..." Robin paused. "Oh, God. Ted, do you remember anything about last night?"

"I remember drinking with Barney," Ted replied. "And then everything is a big blur. Why do you ask?"

"You're on a billboard," Robin deadpanned.

Ted didn't know whether to grin or to worry. What did he _do_ last night? "I am?" he asked cautiously. "For what?"

"Let me send you a picture of it."

Robin sent Ted's cell phone a picture of him in his wizard costume, the same picture Zoey had used against him, with a large speech bubble next to his face that contained a message in black, bold letters. "Hi, I'm Ted Mosby," he read softly "and I slept with my bro's fiancée. I am a piece of... Oh, God."

"Yeah," Robin said flatly.

Mouth hanging open, Ted let his back fall against the wall as his brain raced through every possible scenario of what could happen next. Most of the options ended in a fight, either physically or verbally. "Barney..." he whispered. "This is such a Barney thing. God, I must have told him. Dammit! How does he do these things? Why did I have to go drinking?"

"I don't know, Ted!" Robin screeched. "God, everything's a giant mess!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this," Ted insisted. "I know, I'll just leave to the suburbs and never come back! Problem solved!"

"No, Ted," Robin said calmly. "We're going to talk to Barney. I mean, not together...that wouldn't be the brightest idea. But we're gonna talk to Barney all the same."

"Uh, he's gonna _kill_ me, Robin," Ted said emphatically.

"Ah, I dunno there, Ted. You two seem equally matched when it comes to brawling. Really, I see it as a pathetic slap fight with hair pulling. Hey, kinda like the chicks on _Raw_ and _Smackdown_."

"This is no time for jokes, Robin!" Ted, on his feet and pacing anxiously, shouted. "Barney knows!"

"I know, Ted." Robin then sighed wearily. "Look, I gotta go. We'll talk more about this later, okay?"

"Okay, Robin," Ted said and then ended the call.

He tore off the scarf that wasn't his, cleaned himself up, got a change of clothes, and made his way to the door, phone in hand to call Marshall and see if his friend could meet up. When Ted opened the front door, he jumped to see Marshall standing there, hand raised to knock. The two stared at each other, Ted with a dazed, confused expression, and Marshall with a somber one. "Hey, buddy," Marshall said quietly. "I saw the billboard. Wanna talk?"

Ted swallowed and nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. "I'd like nothing better."


	6. Chapter 6

"...and then you showed up at my door, and then we ended up here at MacLaren's," Ted told a subdued, attentive Marshall who nodded slowly as he listened to Ted's story. "And, yeah, that's pretty much all that's happened the past two days. I betrayed my friend for a night with the woman he was previously engaged to. And now he knows it. Hell, the whole city probably knows it by now."

"That why you keep looking over your shoulder? 'Cause of Barney?" Marshall asked as Ted apprehensively jerked his head back to look at the bar's entrance.

"Hells yeah!" Ted answered, brow furrowed, fingers beating a tattoo onto the tabletop. "I'm trying to avoid him as long as I can. He's gonna kill me, Marshall."

"Ehhh," Marshall said dubiously, shrugging. "I can see it going down like two sophomore schoolgirls getting into a slap fight. Maybe some hair pulling..."

Ted groaned and dropped his head onto the table. "That's almost exactly what Robin told me," he muttered.

"Well, I'm not surprised," Marshall declared gently.

"Okay, _Marshall,_" Ted said, lifting his head slowly and crabbily glaring at the man sitting across from him. "I get that I'm not the toughest guy around, but could you please—"

"I'm not talking about you and Barney getting in a fight, Ted," Marshall cut in, holding a large hand up to indicate that he wanted silence. "I'm just saying that I'm not surprised about you and Robin."

"Why?"

"Do I really have to explain?"

"Yeah, enlighten me, Marshall!"

"Because you two have too much history for it to disappear just like that," Marshall replied. "Didn't Victoria say that you, Barney, and Robin hanging out would lead to trouble?"

Ted shrugged, staring dully at his drink. "Yeah..."

"And I don't know Robin's reasons for calling it off with Barney," Marshall added, "but I'm not surprised at all."

"Well, that makes only one of us."

"And it seems to me, from what you've said, that Robin's willing to see where you guys can go with this."

"That's just talk," Ted mumbled stubbornly.

"Is it?" Marshall pressed.

"Um, yeah!" Ted said vehemently.

"And why's that, Ted?" Marshall asked calmly. "You know, this is so unlike you. The old you would have been willing to—"

"And look what the old me has gotten into over the years!" Ted erupted, garnering looks in his direction. "Need we review all the messes I've been through because I've gone after all the wrong women?"

Marshall, finally grasping the situation, nodded patiently. "I get it, Ted," he said.

"Thank you!"

"I get that you're scared," Marshall challenged.

"I am not scared, Marshall!" Ted, slapping his palms onto the table, whispered loudly. "My deal is that I've done a horrible, horrible thing, and I've betrayed Barney enough as it is."

"So would you be willing to say that, if Barney and Robin had never gotten engaged, you would be willing to try to make something work?" Marshall asked.

Ted breathed in and opened his mouth to answer, but he found that he could not. He sat back against the red cushion of the booth and gaped at his friend, trying to form words, but only succeeding in uttering unintelligible sounds.

Marshall, with a neutral expression upon his face, nodded. "That's what I thought."

Staring off to the side, mouth still hanging open, Ted shook his head. "It's not that I'm scared," he finally said.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," Ted replied. "It's a matter of whether or not Robin could... She... I don't care what she's been... She... Well, you know."

"Know what, Ted?"

"Do I really need to bring it up?" Ted asked, his eyebrows knit together.

"Ted, I really have no clue what you're talking about."

"Remember what happened a while ago...? After she and Kevin broke up and before she moved out?" Ted asked.

Marshall nodded in response. "And that's why you're questioning her sincerity?" he asked.

"Yes, Marshall," Ted answered. "That and this whole Barney mess. God, this is so far from perfect."

"Nothing ever is perfect, Ted."

"I know that, but..." Ted sighed. "This has just been a giant punch in the stomach. After being slapped in the face by the universe a dozen times, showing me that she and I can't work out, and I convince myself and others that I've accepted it, this happens. Life sucker punches me in the gut, and now it's laughing at me. Life's a bitch, Marshall."

"But not nearly as big of a bitch as _someone_ I know," said the enraged voice of a person who sounded as if he was calling on all of his strength to make himself stay where he stood.

Ted nearly jumped out of his skin and his eyes opened to their limit as Barney Stinson stood behind him, cracking knuckles and his neck ominously. Ted's heart raced and his breathing hitched and Marshall looked over Ted's shoulder in concern. "He's right behind me, isn't he?" Ted asked needlessly.

Marshall nodded. "Yup, he is."

Ted ventured to look over his shoulder and saw Barney, a picture of fury with his stormy eyes and flared nostrils. "With all respect to your mother, but...youuu son of a bitch!" Barney hissed like Lily before punching Ted with breathtaking force.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ouchie!" Barney yelled, shaking his hand about a half second after his blow had landed. "Damn, Ted, why does your head have to be so hard?"

"Okay, guys," Carl the bartender yelled while Ted loudly complained that Barney had probably given him a black eye. "Take it outside!"

So Marshall escorted Ted and Barney into the alley so they could work it out in a less crowded area. Ted stood close to Marshall for protection while Barney, shaking his head in disgust, sneered at Ted as he stood a few yards away. The wind picked up, blowing Barney's black trench coat back like the cape of an avenging vigilante looking to settle a score. The arctic air, however, could never compare to the frosty look in Barney's bright blue eyes, and it made Ted put his hand on Marshall's arm for support.

"Coward," Barney said derisively.

"Barney," Ted said urgently, "I am so s—"

"Save it, traitor!" Barney spat. "No amount of apologies will _ever_ make me forgive you for what you've done. As you know, my whole life of awesomehood I always wanted to have a bro. And not just any bro, but an _awesome_ bro. I wanted a bro that was on my level on the awesome scale. I wanted to have a brolationship kinda like Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake's. But I soon learned that my levels of awesome are so high, few people in this world, past or present, can compare. Jesus, Michael Jackson, Houdini, Cleopatra, George Lucas before he sold his soul, _Angelina Jolie_. We could party. We could really get down. But most people are just not on my level, and I am okay with that. But I still wanted to find someone I could call my bro. And then I met you, Ted. And I thought you were pretty cool. Lame, but still cool in your Teddish ways. And all these years I thought you were my bro, but I was obviously wrong!"

"Barney—"

"Shut yer dirty face, Ted!" Barney shouted. "I don't want to hear anything from you! You talk about love, yet you go behind my back and do the no pants dance with the woman I love more than suits! Yes, I said it! I love Robin Scherbatsky more than I love fine suits!"

"Barney," Marshall cut in, "you seem to forget that Robin was the one who—"

"You stay out of this, Marshall," Barney shouted, voice shaking with emotion that he could hardly contain. He then turned his attention back to Ted and said icily, "I hope that Satan takes the Bro Code seriously, because when you get to hell after what some will call a mysterious, premature death, he'll give you the proper punishment for what you've done."

And with that, Barney turned on his heel and left, and Ted, emulating a statue, stood there, chilled to the bone. "Oh, my God, Marshall," Ted muttered. "I think he just threatened me."

"I think he just did," Marshall agreed grimly.

Ted stared hopelessly at the empty space where Barney had previously occupied and asked, "How do you get back to normal after all this?"

"I don't know if you can, Ted," Marshall admitted.

"Hey, Marshall?" Ted asked, still staring at the empty space in front of him and his friend.

"Yeah, Ted?"

"Does Lily know about this?"

"Yep."

"Oh," Ted said, nodding. "And what does she—"

"Her reaction was to call you a son of a bitch," Marshall informed him.

"Great, great," Ted groaned, covering his face with his hand wearily. "Although, I have to ask."

"What, Ted?"

"Is your reaction to all this based on that stupid bet of yours?" Ted asked, finally turning his gaze to Marshall. "Have you been so supportive because you want Robin to end up with me so you can get twenty bucks?"

"What?" Marshall exclaimed, trying and failing to sound shocked that Ted would even ask the question. "No, no, of course not, Ted!"

"You two moved it up to double or nothing, didn't you?" Ted asked.

Marshall remorsefully stared at his shoes and mumbled, "More like triple or nothing."

"It's great to know that you two care about my happiness _that_ much," Ted said sarcastically.

"We wouldn't have to if you guys would get your crap together. It's been intense all these years, Ted. _Especially_ now," Marshall tried to argue, to which Ted shook his head and told him to shut up.

As Ted and Marshall left the alley, Robin called Ted's cell phone. Ted pulled his phone out and, with a defeated, glassy look in his eyes, answered. "Hey, Robin. Well, I had a talk with Barney. Or rather, he yelled at me and pretty much threatened my well-being. Yeah, he is not taking this well." He then let out a long, tired sigh and added, "Not that I blame him."

"I'm sorry, Ted," Robin said sympathetically. "Hey, I'm off work now. You wanna talk?"

Ted almost came to a stop as he considered his options. "I don't know if I wanna do any more talking, Robin," he admitted.

"I promise I won't threaten to kill you," Robin said somewhat playfully in an attempt to lighten the mood, but mostly soberly because of the situation.

Ted managed a small chuckle. "Well, when you put it that way."

"Yeah, let's meet up at my place and I can play you all those embarrassing voice mails you left me."

Despite all the conflict of the last few days, despite having been yelled at just a few minutes ago, Ted found that he could muster up a small smile. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, sounds good."


	8. Chapter 8

Sitting on the floor, their backs against the couch, finding that they could now laugh at the voice messages Ted had left Robin, Ted felt that he could almost allow himself to relax and temporarily forget what had happened. Almost. Though he and Robin laughed at Ted's slurred messages, he knew it was a show they were putting on for each other and themselves. Laugh it up, Ted figured, or break down. Because if they did not laugh at the voice mails, they would then have to talk about what had been going on the last couple of days, and Ted was not ready for that just yet.

"Hey, hey, Robin," Ted said in a message. "There's this—there's this stop sign that keeps staring at me. It won't stop, Robin! It's judging me! It's staring right at me, and it's judging me! That bastard! It keeps on telling me 'stop' for whatever reason... Oh, hi, Flipper. How you doing? I gotta go, Robin. Flipper wants to play cards. Bye-bye, call you later. Love ya. Mwah!"

Fist to her mouth, laughing loudly, Robin said through her thin facade made of mirth, "That's probably my second favorite. Some of them are just sad, though."

That stopped the laughter from both parties, and there was an awkward silence, which Robin tried to cover by pouring herself more wine. She had offered Ted a glass earlier, but Ted had declined, and had opted to drink water. He'd had enough alcohol in the last few days.

"So," he said carefully while Robin took a drink, "how've you been the past few days?"

"Can't eat, can't sleep," Robin replied dully, staring at the coffee table that stood in front of them. "Bought myself a new pair of boots, but that didn't help. It may work for Lily, but...no satisfaction here."

"I actually bought myself a gallon of chocolate milk, and drank at least half of it in one sitting," Ted offered, trying to cheer her up. He then chuckled nervously and added, "Wasn't worth it."

Robin chuckled once, but said nothing.

"Robin?" Ted said gently. "You okay?"

"No, Ted," Robin replied, choked up, shaking her head. "Calling it off with Barney was one of the hardest things I've had to do. He just—he just looked so... I just feel so awful that he had to get hurt in all of this, you know?"

Ted, staring at Robin while she fought her battle with tears, put his arm around her in a side hug to comfort her. And that was all he wanted to do. All he wanted to do was comfort Robin and let her know that he was still around for her, no matter what. No matter what happened, no matter which path the two of them chose, Ted wanted to be there for Robin. And if he could stay there, sitting on Robin's living room floor with her, rubbing her arm and whispering that everything would be okay into her hair, he would have. Ted positioned himself so he could hold her with both arms. Robin moved so she could return his embrace, and the two stayed still for a few quiet moments, holding onto each other to alleviate all the pressure and the pain.

At length Robin lifted her head up so she could look into Ted's eyes. Her eyes looked troubled and, above all, exhausted. They looked at each other for a considerable amount of time, and Ted, before he did anything else that would make him feel like the lowest person on Earth, tore his gaze from Robin's and cleared his throat. "You know," he said while he and Robin sat back against the couch, except not as close together as they had been sitting a few minutes ago. "I think I'd like a water."

Robin said she'd be happy to oblige, and when she left for the fridge, Ted's cell phone received a text message. It was from Lily, and it read _Youuuuu son of a bitch! :( _

Closing the message, Ted sighed and dropped his head back a few inches to groan and stare at the ceiling. "No relief," he muttered to himself. "Not one minute of relief."

As if Lily could hear him, she sent him another text. _Marshall told me that Barney punched you. You deserved it, assface!_

"What's the matter?" Robin asked as she came back with a glass filled with iced water.

Ted sighed, stood up, and accepted the water. After taking a drink of the clear liquid, he told her about Lily and her infuriated text messages. " And I think I'm gonna go home now," he added. "It's been quite a day, and I just want to go somewhere I hopefully don't have to deal with people."

"Hopefully?"

"Barney did kinda threaten me, Robin," Ted said, shrugging and trying to play it off. "Just in case, though, I'll have my bat by my side. I just hope he hasn't rigged any of my doors so they explode when I open them."

Robin mustered a small smile. "Okay, see you later, Ted."

"Oh, before I go," Ted said, stopping at the door. "You said you're gonna talk to Barney again?"

Robin nodded and folded her arms. "Yeah," she sighed. "I mean, a person can only apologize so many times, but I owe it to him."

"Yeah. We both do," Ted agreed. "But he won't listen to me. I only wish he could know how sorry I am, but short of hara-kiri, I don't think there's much I can do in this situation."

"Hey, Ted?"

"Yeah?"

"What's gonna happen?" Robin asked. "What's gonna happen to us? What's gonna happen to our group?"

Ted, hand on the door frame, stared off to the side. Most of what he had pictured was coming true, but he had no idea as to what the future held. He looked back at Robin, who studied him the same way she had not very long ago, and he said, "I don't know, Robin. I don't know what happens next."


	9. Chapter 9

The closest Ted's group ever got to having all five of the members spend time together at MacLaren's was whenever Ted, Marshall, and Robin gathered in their booth. Lily refused to be in the same room as Ted, and Barney refused to see anyone in the group but Lily. Yet the three that remained still tried their best to keep the group together, even if two members refused to show.

"God, this is all my fault," Ted exclaimed once an awkward silence had settled after a halfhearted debate about sports had dropped dead, as had most of their conversations. Tried as they had, but thoughts always turned to the giant schism that had been created, and thoughts were left unvoiced since all three thought that it was best that some things were better left unsaid. It made for lots of staring into drinks, and lots of uncomfortable silences, and Ted was tired of it. "I broke our group up."

"_We_ broke our group up, Ted," Robin said solemnly, staring into her near empty glass.

Ted knew that this would happen, but dammit, that did not make it any less frustrating. He knew that he and Barney would most likely never be friends again, but did he really have to lose Lily, too? "Have you talked to your wife?" Ted asked Marshall.

Marshall shrugged and said, "Tried, man. And she's mad at me, too, for apparently not taking sides. But the thing is," Marshall admitted, "I'm on everyone's side."

"Huh?" Robin asked. "How does that work?"

"I understand everyone's position," Marshall explained. "I understand how bad you two feel about hurting Barney, and I understand why Barney has Ted's picture on a dartboard, and I understand why Lily is so angry. I think it would be unfair for me to take just one side."

"Plus that sixty bucks sounds pretty enticing, which is probably why you haven't socked me for what's happened," Ted muttered bitterly.

Marshall shook his head slowly and said, "We called that bet off, Ted. There's no point in it anymore."

"Thank you!" Ted exclaimed.

"And since we're finally talking about what's been on our minds for the past week," Marshall said, drumming his fingers on the table. He looked at Robin and asked, "Robin, have you talked to Barney again?"

Robin sighed and stared at her hands. "Yeah, Marshall," she said quietly. "I even offered him money to pay him back since I threw the ring away, but he said he didn't want it. I just don't know what I can do to make it better for him."

"I don't know if there is a way," Ted admitted. "I haven't been able to sleep or eat because I can think of nothing else, and I just don't know if you can bounce back from something like this. You'd probably have to have the patience and tolerance of Jesus to forgive something like this. I mean, I went up to see him at work to try to apologize, but before I even had a foot in his office, he called security on me. We've apologized and apologized, but things still aren't getting better. I don't know if there's anything we can do."

"Well, there is one thing we can do," Robin said.

"And what's that?" Ted asked.

"We can talk to Lily."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I'm not dead! Haha, anyway, a couple of things I need to say before I start this. The reason why it took so long for me to update is because this was a very slow process writing this out. My update speed was every few days for most of this story, one or two weeks at the very most, but this was just slooow. So sorry about the long period of inactivity from this fic.**

**And I appreciate those of you who reviewed that actually _liked_ this story. Special thanks goes to WOWcow, TheWazzupPeople, Chico Magnifico, and GasmaskedMook. You guys and your wonderful feedback are why I've carried on with this story, even if it's taken forever to update.**

/

Lily had put up quite the fight when Marshall, Robin, and Ted came to talk. Because she didn't want her baby to be in the same room when she unleashed her volley of insults and accusations, all aimed at Ted, she had demanded that the group go up to the roof to talk things out.

"You son of a bitch, Ted," Lily said with a cold fury while she glowered at him. Ted noticed how the petite woman trembled with anger, as if it took every last ounce of patience that being a teacher had endowed her with to not attack Ted. He knew that Lily would like nothing better than to come up to him and give him a swift, merciless blow to the groin, and he was relieved that she was able to restrain herself. "You son of a bitch! Barney can be a jackass, but not even he's pulled crap like this! How can you live with yourself?"

Ted stood calmly, hands in pockets, as Lily verbally cut him down. He knew that trying to fight back would be pointless, and he was so damn tired of apologizing, so he remained in his spot and let her continue through the laundry list of insults. Robin, however, seemed to think that it was still worth it to fight. She stepped in between Ted and Lily, holding a hand up defensively, and she said, "God, Lily, why have you not said one word to me? You haven't even looked at me since I got here!"

"Because I am so disappointed in you, there are just no words for it!" Lily had shrieked at Robin. "How could you two be so _stupid_? What in God's name were _either_ of you thinking that night?"

It had not been an easy hour; it had been quite the endeavor to get Lily to calm down and to finally agree to stop avoiding the group. Ted, what with his new "I don't care" attitude, had even been bold enough to bring up how _he_had forgiven her for leaving for San Francisco years ago, but Lily had hissed, "It took you months to let that one go, Mosby. It's only been a week."

But as things unfolded, a week after integrating Lily back into the group, Ted decided that it was his turn to take a break, for he was tired. Ted was tired of it all. He was tired of Lily's stare that made the North Pole look like a warm summer vacation spot, tired of Robin's uncharacteristic reticence, tired of looking at Robin and thinking of how great things could have turned out if Robin had not been attached. But Ted knew that his conscience would not allow him to indulge in fantasies of what could have been.

He was tired of all of them, with the exception of Lily, trying too hard to bring life back into the group; tired of the guilt that clamped the inside of his chest, tired of the hours he spent each night staring at the ceiling because his brain refused to let him sleep. Ted was burned out. Ted was burned out over it all.

So he decided that the best solution would be to lie low for a while. Maybe it would benefit the group if he distanced himself, Ted told himself as he wrote out the pros and cons on a yellow legal ad. After all, if Ted disappeared for a while, maybe Lily would be willing to talk if it was just Robin there and not both Robin and Ted. And maybe if Lily would be willing to talk, maybe Robin's shoulders would not slump as much as they had been doing ever since Barney had learned of Ted and Robin's damned hookup.

But then again, Ted realized as his gaze slid across the yellow lined paper to the Cons column, there was Marshall to think about it, and also Robin. _Robin._Well, Marshall would get it, Ted rationalized. Marshall would get that Ted wanted space. Besides, some time without Ted was not going to hurt Marshall. _But Robin. _Insisted that small voice, urging Ted to think._ Consider Robin, Mosby. How would she feel?_ She would have her best friend there, Ted thought. Lily may be angry at Robin had done, but Ted knew that Lily could not be angry at her forever. And like he had just considered, maybe if both culprits weren't there, it would be easier for Lily to forgive. And, besides, Ted thought, what about the chance that seeing him reminded Robin of everything that had happened? What if Ted was as much as an embodiment of the past and wrongdoings to Robin as she was to him? So didn't the pros outweigh the cons? This could benefit the group.

But maybe Ted was just taking a break only for his own benefit. Well, Ted found that he was too jaded and too weighed down for any more debates with himself over his moral character. He had started his ongoing fight with himself the second he had woken up after his night with Robin, and frankly, he was exhausted of running around in circles only to end up where he had started.

So Ted cut himself off from social media, only answered phone calls and other messages from family and work-related business, buried himself in his work, and if he felt stir crazy, he visited two places where he was unlikely to run into the others: the library and a hole in the wall diner. For the most part Ted either stayed late at the university or at home, but on the occasion that he felt like he needed a change of scenery, he would grab his last meal of the day at the barely surviving diner that had surprisingly decent food, or he would just spend the hours reading in the library until it was closing time.

It was not necessarily the most exciting of habits, but Ted told himself that it was only temporary. There would be a day where he could deal with the others and the awkward, lifeless conversations, but that day had not yet arrived. And, hey, maybe everything would be fairly back to normal by the time he came back. Although Ted did not normally allow himself to fantasize about walking into MacLaren's one slow afternoon and finding his group laughing at something Barney had said, could it hurt to be a little optimistic? No, things would not be back to normal, not completely. If Barney ever came back, it certainly would not be anytime soon.

But really, Ted had given up with Barney, and he was starting to resign himself to the fact that they would probably never be friends again. Like Robin had said, a person could only apologize so much. He knew that it would take time if he and Barney were to be friends again. And Ted would be there if Barney was ever ready to talk. Ted would be there with a chair pulled up, a cigar, and his former friend's favorite drink.

When Ted found his thoughts turning to Robin, or the group's issues, or anything involving Barney, he tried dealing with the problem by burying his nose in grading papers or in a book from the library. It started to get to him after several months, however, doing the same routine by himself. True, he had had a routine going on at MacLaren's, but at least that had been done with friends. Ted was not in a rut, he was in a trench, a trench which he had eagerly dug for himself to try to get away from the reality of his situation. But yet Ted felt that he was not ready to leave his trench. Not yet, anyway. After all, trenches provided some safety.

/

One night Ted was vegging on the couch with a sizable bowl of popcorn when his door was kicked in. The act of the door being kicked in, coupled with the loud noise that accompanied it, understandably made Ted jump and grab the object nearest to him for protection, which happened to be a book, and not even a thick one. Luckily for Ted, it was only a _very_ pissed off Robin at the door instead of a street thug trying to steal from him, so maybe he didn't need to worry about calling the cops. Then again, it was a _very_ pissed Robin.

Ted, gazing at Robin warily like one would at an angry rattlesnake, tightened his grip on the book and considered throwing it to distract her so he could make his getaway if need be. "Robin?" Ted said cautiously. "You feeling okay?"

"Dammit, Ted!" Robin shrilled, kicking the door shut behind her as she stalked farther into Ted's living room.

Ted uneasily jumped to his feet, holding the book out for protection if Robin attempted any blows to his chest. "W-whoa! Whoa!" Ted exclaimed. "Robin, what's the matter?"

"What's the matter?" Robin screeched. "You're really asking me that? Well, Ted, how about the fact that you've pretty much dropped off the face of the earth? How you won't answer any of my messages? Damn it all, Ted, why are you ignoring m—" Robin's jaw dropped in shock and disbelief as she caught herself. She swallowed furiously, cleared her throat, and continued, with a strained voice, "Why are you ignoring the group, Ted?"

Ted stammered and stuttered through his excuse of how it was just too much of a hassle to deal with the group's drama, how he needed a break, to which Robin threw a hand up. She spat, "_Please_, Ted. You think you're the only one whose goddamn conscience won't leave them alone? You think you're the only one who couldn't stand what our group turned into? Well, you know what? We've held off for a long time now from coming after you, Teddy Boy, just to be nice. But you've had your time alone, Ted, so now it's time to _man the hell up_."

"You were about to ask me why I was ignoring you, weren't you, Robin?" Ted asked quietly, letting himself relax out of his defensive pose. That was why she was here.

Robin didn't—or couldn't look at Ted. His friend sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, impatiently tapping her foot. "Lily's willing to start over," she said after a half minute of an awkward, painful silence.

"Robin."

"And Marshall misses hanging out with you."

"_Robin._"

"And it's getting better. Things are almost back to—"

"Robin!"

Robin exhaled sharply and said, "What, Ted? What do you want me to say?"

"You could start with answering my question," Ted said flatly.

It took Robin a few tries to finally say, "You heard what I said, Ted."

"Robin," Ted said. "Come on."

"You're not the only one who wanted to get away from it all, Ted," Robin said, stubbornly refusing to tell him what they both knew she wanted to say.

Ted sighed and said quietly, so quietly he wasn't even sure that he said said it at all, "Just get out."

Robin gaped at him, shocked, affirming that he indeed had told her to leave. "Ted," she rasped.

"If you're gonna play it like that, Robin, there's no point in carrying on with this conversation," Ted said blandly. His words tinged with a slight bitterness, he added softly, "I'll come back soon, seeing how _Marshall and Lily _want it."

"Ted," Robin said quietly as Ted turned and made his way for his bedroom.

Ted stopped a few steps up the staircase to his room. Not bothering to look back at Robin, Ted said soberly, "Just leave, Robin. You can come back when you're willing to actually talk to me."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: This is the official ending to the story, but I do have an alternate ending in mind. More on that at the end of this chapter. It all depends on whether anyone is interested.**

/

True to his word, Ted returned to the group a few days after his small spat with Robin. Marshall had been the first to notice Ted's seemingly long-awaited return to MacLaren's, and so Ted's best friend smiled and said, "Hey-hey! Look who's here, guys."

Ted moved as if he walked through waist-high water while he made his way to his group's spot, and he felt highly self-conscious as the occupants of the booth all stared at him. While it was true that Ted had played out several scenarios in his head in which he was welcomed like the prodigal son that had returned home, he just felt weird having all this attention after so much time alone. Marshall looked happy to see him, Robin tried to brave a smile but nonetheless looked apprehensive, and Lily, even if Ted was not sure whether the gesture was genuine or not, wore a small smile .

Lily and Marshall sat next to each other on one side of the booth, and the spot next to Robin was empty, but that did not stop Ted from pulling a chair up from an empty table and plopping down on it to avoid being too close to Robin. Yeah, okay, he was still miffed over how the last time they had spoken had turned out, so Ted was just not too keen on sitting next to Robin, despite how immature it was of him to choose a chair when there was a perfectly good spot right there. Ted was just not in the mood.

Ted slapped his hands onto his knees and said all too eagerly, "Hey, guys. What's the haps, chaps?"

"Okay, Ted, first of all," Lily said, giggling at Ted's attempts at being both funny and endearing, "don't ever say that again." Well, things were off to a good start. Lily had not scowled at Ted once since he had entered the bar, and she did not appear to be forcing her giggle. _Good stuff._ Ted thought. _Good stuff._

"You sure about that?" Ted asked, wiping his moist palms against his jeans, trying his best to ignore the pensive glances Robin was trying—and failing—to surreptitiously send his way. Yeah, Ted noticed how she was looking at him. Did she feel bad? Did she guilty about the way their last conversation had ended? Why couldn't she just admit it? What was stopping her from...? Ted realized that he was making perturbed expressions to go along with the little rant going on in his head, and that the others were staring at him strangely because of it. So he swallowed and forced a plastic smile. "I just—I just thought for sure that I could make it work."

Lily clicked her tongue and grinned wryly at him, saying, "Sorry 'bout that, Ted."

"Well, _okay_, Lily," Ted sighed, bobbing his head a little from side to side. Although he was feigning disappointment, he still at Lily.

"So where have you been all this time, Ted?" Marshall asked. "Did you build your own super headquarters under your house? Get yourself your own team of _Super Friends_?"

"I wish!" Ted proclaimed, chortling with Marshall. "How cool would that be? Ted Mosby: Architect of Freedom—not to be confused with Jefferson."

"Sounds like the premise of the _dumbest_ comic book ever," Lily quipped.

"Ha, yeah," Robin, grinning uneasily, chuckled, trying to sound as lighthearted as the rest of them. "And I bet Christopher Nolan would, like, make it dark and gritty, and stuff, like he did with Batman with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger..."

Reminded of a well-meaning Judd Apatow joke that Robin had made a few years ago, Marshall smiled sympathetically at her and patted her hand. "It's okay, sweetie," he said. "You tried."

"But seriously, Ted," Lily said. "Where have you been the past few months? Find yourself a girlfriend?"

Ted, with a quirky smile, shrugged as he blew a stream of air through this lips. "I'm afraid that there's nothing to report, guys," he replied. "Nothing—nothing special o-or out of the ordinary or _frightening_ that happened."

"Really, Ted?" Robin asked, challenging him, yet not looking at him. "Did anything—or anyone—come around to snap you out of it?"

Ted shrugged as he stared at Robin. "Oh, you know," he said, meeting her challenge. "Just one of those things. Just kinda decided that enough was enough."

"Huh," Robin said, playing with a coaster, finally looking into Ted's eyes. "That so?"

"Yeah," Ted replied and then swallowed. "Yeah, that is so."

"So you're saying that all it took was some good ol' Mosby willpower?" Robin asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"Huh. Well, okay, Ted. Okay."

/

Robin had been right, Ted found as time went on. Things were mostly back to normal; only one thing was missing from the group, but Ted was convinced that that was a lost cause.

And, well, Ted realized as the afternoon progressed, one other thing was not the same. _Robin. _Ted guiltily glanced at Robin as they listened to this story Lily was telling. Things were already complicated enough, Ted realized, so why complicate them any more? He supposed that he could just let it go, just accept that Robin, for whatever reason, did not feel comfortable with admitting that she indeed had missed him. Sure, it would feel nice for something as simple as Robin saying "Hey, Ted, I missed you" to happen, but was it necessary for them to play games like this?

And Marshall had noticed that something was off with the two of them, if the glances he and Lily shared were any indication. After they had gone their separate ways to return home, Marshall called Ted's name as he ran after him. Ted looked at his friend as they fell into step with each other, and Marshall finally said, "Hey, did anything happen between you and Robin?"

Ted considered telling him how Robin kicked her way into his apartment—damaging the door a bit in the process, he might add, _thank you very much_—and had pretty much yelled at him to grow a pair. He considered telling Marshall how irritated that incident had left him, but he knew that that would all be unnecessary. "Yeah," Ted said calmly. "Yeah, we fought...ish."

"Ish?" Marshall asked, wanting Ted to clarify.

Ted shrugged and said, "It wasn't that much of a fight."

"Wanna talk about it?" Marshall, ever the friend, asked.

Ted shrugged again and then shook his head. "Nah," he replied. "Not important."

"Well, okay," Marshall said, smiling pleasantly. Ted smiled back at his friend and nodded a farewell at him as he started to walk off alone. Ted threw a hand up in goodbye when Marshall told him, "Take care, Ted."

Ted, becoming just another face in the crowd, smiled to himself. Sure, the situation was not ideal. Some things would probably never be the same again, and Ted realized that. But things could be a lot worse, right? So maybe, Ted thought with a grin, maybe things were finally starting to look up.

/

Ted had grown quite fond of his little diner, so it was nothing new when he went there for lunch one day over the weekend. What was new, however, was the person who happened to be grabbing lunch there as well.

His eyes widened as he looked at Barney, who sat alone at a booth, and Ted considered his options. Should he go over and try to talk to him? No, he shouldn't try to force anything. What if they made eye contact? He licked his lips as he took a few more steps into the diner so he could get out of the way of a group of customers that knew what they were going to do next, unlike Ted. Ted pretended to read the board at the front of the diner that advertised prices and the day's special. Should he smile if they did make eye contact, or would that just make Barney angry? What if Barney perceived that as taunting? What if Ted just nodded? A noncommittal nod, complete with a neutral expression. Would that be okay? But what if that seemed too—

"Hey, Ted," said Barney, interrupting Ted's train of thought. Ted swallowed and looked at the man that he had alienated a few months ago. Barney jerked his chin up and gestured for Ted to come over.

Ted, making sure that he was alert, placed his hands in his pockets and cautiously complied. Barney was cutting into his steak as Ted slid into the seat across from him, and Ted noticed how _very_ big and _very_ sharp that knife of Barney's was; Ted noticed how red the juices coming from the steak were. _Oh, that's rare. _Ted thought as Barney cut a piece and dragged the meat through the juices on the plate.

"Calm yourself, Ted," Barney snapped, knife scraping his plate as he cut another piece, grating on Ted's ears.

Ted tapped his fingers on the table and said, "So, Barney. How've things been?"

Barney shrugged and asked, "How d'you thing things have been, Ted?"

Ted exhaled and then nodded soberly. "Right," he nearly whispered.

"Nice food they got here," Barney added. "Not bad at all."

"Right," Ted said dully. "Barney, I—"

"Just give it to me straight, Ted," Barney interrupted, looking up into Ted's eyes. "You banging Robin now that I'm gone?"

Taken aback, Ted whispered, "No."

"_Ah_," Barney, waving his knife, said sharply. "You lack conviction, Ted. You _sure_you're not doing the bang-bang with her?"

"I'm not, Barney," Ted said firmly.

"Oh, well then," Barney muttered, stabbing a piece of meat with his fork. "I'm still mad at you. Furious, actually."

"And I don't blame you," Ted replied, standing up so he could exit the booth and leave the diner. He'd lost his appetite. "Well, Barney, if you have nothing to say to me besides that I deserve a dirty needle shoved into my neck, I think I'll be leaving."

And Ted turned and started to leave, getting about a yard away from the booth until Barney said, "Wait, Ted."

Ted sighed and settled back into his seat. He was going to be here a while, wasn't he? Might as well order a cup of coffee. "Yes, Barney?" he asked patiently.

"I think," Barney continued, chewing a square of meat, "to get back at you, I'll do what you did to me. I just need to wait for you to get engaged, and that's when I'll make my move. Oh, who am I kidding with that one? Everyone knows that'll never happen. I think I'll just marry your mom instead. Then I can be your new daddy and ground you."

"She's married, Barney," Ted deadpanned. "Or did you forget that you cried at her wedding?"

"Details, details," Barney said, waving away what Ted had said. "Divorces happen every day. And if I can't get your mom, then maybe I'll just bag your sister."

Ted, brown eyes glazed over, sat there for the rest of Barney's lunch, allowing each of Barney's empty promises to come his way. Hey, he figured that Barney needed someone to talk to, and this was probably Barney's way of venting. It was no skin off Ted's nose. Besides, he found that as time went on, Barney's coldly angry demeanor melted, and the blonde man looked as tired of it all as Ted felt. Although, that did not mean that Barney was making any promises of wanting to be Ted's friend again. By no means was he saying that, Barney told Ted.

Any attempts of conversation had simply faded into silence, but it was not necessarily uncomfortable like Ted had anticipated. By the time Barney had finished his steak and dessert, and Ted had finished his second cup of coffee, and the bills had been paid, the two men looked at one another.

"Well," Barney said after the waitress had walked off.

"Yeah," Ted replied. Feeling a tad optimistic, Ted inquired, "Maybe...?"

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Okay. Take care, Barney."

"Bye, Ted."

/

_Ted. _Read a text message that Robin had sent him. _Come meet me outside of MacLaren's. I have a surprise for you._

Ted had thought nothing of it when he went to his group's favorite bar to meet up with Robin. The truth was that he did not know what to think about it, but Ted really did not think that it would be anything _that_ big given how strained things had been between them lately.

"Hey," Robin greeted him, unable to suppress the large grin that made it look like she was up to something.

"Hey," Ted said, walking into Robin's hug and taking note of the sizable shopping bag that hung from the crook of Robin's arm. Feeling the weight of whatever was inside of the bag, Ted grinned at Robin as they stepped back, and he asked her, "What, did you buy me something? Is that the surprise? Can I guess what it is?"

Robin took the shopping bag into her hands and smirked secretively. "Oh, I didn't exactly _buy _this," she informed Ted, putting the bag behind her back and smiling teasingly at him when he tried to grab it.

"Oh, is that so?" Ted, tickled at how cute Robin looked at that moment, asked.

"Yep," Robin replied brightly. "You can try to guess what it is, but I doubt you'll get it."

"Okay. Is it a blender?" Ted played along.

"Heavier than a blender," Robin replied. "Plus, I don't recommend that you use this to make fruity drinks."

"Okay, got it," Ted said, nodding. "Not food-related. Ah... I dunno... Did you get me a small TV? 'Cause I already have one, ya know. Unless it's one of those vintage ones, which I'd be so up for."

"Nope," Robin replied, lips making a popping sound. "Can't use this to watch TV."

"Then I don't know," Ted said, shrugging and smiling at her. "C'mon, tell me what it is."

Robin gestured for him to step closer, and when he did so, she took the bag from behind her and opened it, but left the item inside. "Take a peek," she whispered, as if they were being watched.

Ted, amused with it all, laughed and did as she asked, expecting maybe an archaic tome or a radio. What Ted found in the bag, however, meant more to him than a large book or a radio ever could. What Ted saw made his jaw drop, made him stumble back a step or two. Ted looked at Robin, speechless, and let the astounded expression upon his face do the talking.

Robin grinned at him and said, "The past few months haven't been easy."

"Yeah," Ted agreed, unable to say much else, so great was his joy.

Robin stepped closer to Ted, closing up some of the distance between them. Looking down at the ground before looking back at him, Robin said softly, "And, okay, this is kinda my apology. I was kinda a jerk."

"So was I," Ted mumbled, pulling the item out of the bag and holding it up. "But you didn't have to—"

"Maybe not," Robin conceded, taking her own hold of the item. "But I wanted to. I'll tell you, it wasn't easy, Ted. Had to bring bolt cutters and do this in the middle fo the night."

"I can't believe it, Robin," Ted muttered, looking at her earnestly. He was touched. Awestruck, and in complete disbelief that he was actually able to say it, Ted whispered, "You stole a blue French horn for me."

Robin chuckled and shrugged in a "What can ya do?" manner. Smiling at Ted, she said, "I would have stolen you a whole orchestra."

/

Lily and Marshall, who stood on their stoop, observed as Ted and Robin hugged one another a second time. Lily watched on with a happy smile, but Marshall had a pleased smirk on his lips. "So, Lily," he said playfully, clasping his hands behind his back, leaning over her shoulder.

"Yes, Marshall?"

"About that bet."

"We dropped that."

Marshall snorted and said, "I know, I know. But suppose we did bring it back up again."

"Uh-huh?"

"Supposing that we did," Marshall continued, "I mean, hypothetically, of course—I'd say to _pay up_, sister."

"And if we did," Lily added, "I mean, hypothetically, of course—I'd say not yet, Marshall. Not yet."

/

**Author's Note: Well, this is for sure the official ending to "Uh-Oh." Seeing how I say in the summary that no ship prevails, the official ending is just that. Ted and Robin have gotten through this ordeal, and Barney just might be coming around, but no one gets back together. (Even if Robin ****_did_**** go to great lengths to get the blue French horn for Ted****—****and just try to imagine a shopping bag that's big enough to hold it, mm'kay?)****The alternate ending, however, is a little different. It's for anyone who likes Ted and Robin together (rare breed, I know), or even for anyone who's interested in seeing a different ending to this. However, I'll post the alternate ending only if anyone is interested. **

**If you've gotten this far in the story, I'm delighted. If you'd be so kind as to leave a review, I'd greatly appreciate it. Reviews are what turned this fic from what could have been a one shot into a full-blown fic. And it's been fun. :)**

**Best Wishes,**

**CaptainKrueger**


	12. Chapter 12: Alternate Ending

**Author's Note: So this is the alternate ending for those that were interested. So if you don't care to see a TedxRobin-friendly ending, then carry on with your day and have a good one. However, if you would like to see TedxRobin, then by all means, keep reading. **

/

"I can't believe it, Robin," Ted muttered, looking at her earnestly. He was touched. Awestruck, and in complete disbelief that he was actually able to say it, Ted whispered, "You stole a blue French horn for me."

Robin chuckled and shrugged in a "What can ya do?" manner. Smiling at Ted, she said, "I would have stolen you a whole orchestra."

They stood there gazing at each other, holding onto the French horn, uncertain of what to do next. Ted, putting things simply, was speechless. He wanted to tell Robin how overjoyed he was that she went to all that trouble to steal back the blue French horn, how grateful he was, how surreal everything felt to him at that beautiful, glorious moment in time, but for once, despite Ted's usual articulateness, words were worthless. Instead of _telling_ her how elated he was, Ted realized, why not just _show _her?

So Ted did what he had wanted to do for so, so long, what he wanted to do but wouldn't allow himself to since he had woken up that fateful morning after: Ted leaned in and kissed Robin. Robin's grip on the French horn slackened until she let it go altogether, and Ted, although he was preoccupied with kissing her, made sure to at least hold onto the painted instrument so it did not fall to the ground. Robin kissed Ted back, arms going around his neck, and that was when Ted realized—no, when he _allowed_ himself to accept that she indeed had felt the way he had since that morning, if the eager way she moved her lips with his was any indication.

When their mouths parted, the two looked at each other, and a smile broke out on Robin's face that grew into an ecstatic grin. Ted grinned as Robin laughed, and he followed suit. Damn, she was beautiful.

Moved with laughter, the two beamed at one another as they neared euphoria because of how absolutely perfect everything felt. "This is happening," Ted said, still in disbelief that this was not a dream. He wasn't going to wake up any second now and find out that the spot next to his was empty, right? "This is happening. Oh, God, this is happening. This is _really_ happening."

Robin chuckled and asked facetiously, "Uh, Ted? You're not going into shock, are you?"

Realizing how he sounded, Ted merely chortled and shook his head exuberantly. "No, no," he laughed. "No, I'm good."

Robin wore an expression that was half smile, half smirk as her arms went around his neck again. "Good," she said. "Because I wouldn't be able to do this if I had to haul your butt to the hospital."

And nothing else had to be said between the two, not when what they wanted to say could be communicated through another kiss. Holding onto the blue French horn that had so much history, kissing Robin and being kissed by her like the world depended on it, Ted Mosby had found his place on Cloud Nine, and he did not want to come back down.

/

Lily and Marshall, who stood on their stoop, observed from a fair distance. Lily watched on with a happy smile, but Marshall had a pleased smirk on his lips. "So, Lily," he said playfully, clasping his hands behind his back, leaning over her shoulder.

"Yes, Marshall?"

"About that bet."

"We dropped that."

Marshall snorted and said, "I know, I know. But suppose we did bring it back up again."

"Uh-huh?"

"Supposing that we did," Marshall continued, "I mean, hypothetically, of course—I'd say to _pay up_, sister."

Lily's lips twisted in an amused smirk as she looked at her husband. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that we dropped that, Marshmallow, 'cause ain't no way I'm gonna pay you sixty bucks, bucko."

Marshall laughed to himself and draped an arm around her as they started to walk to where Robin and Ted stood. "We'll see," he promised her, chuckling. As they reached Ted and Robin, who were still kissing one another, Marshall snickered as he said, "Hey! Get a room, you two!"

Robin and Ted separated and grinned disbelievingly at Marshall, as if saying, _"Is this guy serious?"_

"Hm, maybe we will," Ted said, grinning mischievously as he scooped Robin up into his arms.

And so Lily and Marshall, entertained by it all, looked on as one very surprised Robin laughed at Ted's antics while he excitedly spun her around for a a few turns. After Ted let Robin come back down to Earth, Marshall could not contain his smile as Ted took Robin's face in his hands and put his forehead against hers.

"Y'see?" Marshall asked Lily, nodding to the blissfully smiling couple. "This is what I've been waiting on for years."

Ted chuckled, looked at Marshall with a wry smile upon his lips, and he said, "Me too, buddy. Me too."

/

A few months ago, Ted Mosby had panicked when he awoke to find Robin Scherbatsky sleeping by his side. Instead of getting up so he could pace and rant to himself in his living room, Ted stayed where he was and absentmindedly stroked Robin's hair while a peaceful, content smile took its place upon his face. Now that he had nothing to weigh on his conscience, Ted could allow himself to relax and lie in bed with the woman who had taken residence in his heart years ago and had never really left, no matter what he said.

Being the ecstatic, awestruck fool that he was, Ted was smiling up at the ceiling when he heard a small, "Hey."

Ted looked over and saw Robin smiling at him while she blearily blinked away sleep. "Hi," he said softly, leaning closer to Robin and gently kissing her good morning. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mm," Robin hummed contentedly, shifting herself so her head was resting on his chest, and Ted was elated to know that this time around he could actually enjoy the feeling. "Best sleep I've had in a while."

Ted chuckled and asked, "I know, right? Me too."

"At least," Robin added, pausing suggestively, "with what actual sleep we _did_get."

Ted laughed as he stroked her shoulder with his thumb. "True that," he agreed.

"You know what I'm really craving right now, though?" Robin asked, sitting up

and gazing contentedly at him.

"Oh?" Ted asked, pushing himself up into a seated position, grinning wolfishly at her, as he assumed that Robin was still playing this game with him. "What's that?"

"I'd really like some pancakes right about now," Robin whispered, leaning in closer to Ted like it was some big secret that only the two of them could know.

Ted grinned, leaned in closer to Robin, and he whispered, "Well, you're in luck, 'cause I bought a mix yesterday." As Robin looked at him from under her hair and grinned at him, Ted added, "So what'll it be, Scherbatsky? Plain, banana, or chocolate chip?"

Robin took her place on his lap, hands going to his shoulders. "Oh, I dunno," she said, feigning indecisiveness. "They all sound so good."

Ted exhaled as he put his hands upon her hips. He asked her, "So besides making pancakes, where do we go from here?"

"You and I have some things to discuss," Robin said through a small sigh, nodding as she understood at what Ted was really asking. Something sparked up in her blue eyes as she murmured, "Some things that I haven't said, but should."

Ted gazed pensively at his girlfriend—imagine that: he was able to call Robin Scherbatsky his _girlfriend_ again—and his lips flapped together as he let out a boisterous stream of air. "Yeah," he whispered. "And we can't go on like we did the last time."

"No," Robin agreed. She then looked over her shoulder to where the blue French horn hung on a wall in Ted's bedroom. She said, with an affectionate air, "But I don't plan on us having to get rid of that damn instrument again."

Ted chuckled his agreement. "No, I'm keeping that thing. But you know what?" he asked, bringing his hand to Robin's face when she looked back at him. "We have enough time to figure it all out. Now how 'bout we go make ourselves some pancakes?"

Robin smiled fondly at him. Chuckling, she said, "I would like nothing better, Teddy Boy."


End file.
